Nobody Home
by Closet Cleaner
Summary: When the love of his after-life leaves his body just /laying/ around, who can fault Renji for stealing a quick kiss? But what happens if that stolen moment is seen by none other than Ichigo himself? Well, since this is a yaoi, I'll let you guess. RenjixIchigo


**Pairing: Renji x Ichigo (Seme!R x Uke!I)****  
****Story Warnings: Yaoi. Homoerotica. Butt-sex. Fingering. Crackish Omake.**  
**Summary: When the love of his after-life leaves his body just /laying/ around, who can fault Renji for stealing a quick kiss? But what happens if that stolen moment is seen by none other than Ichigo himself? Well, since this is a yaoi, I'll let you guess. RenjixIchigo  
Disclaimer: Is this even necessary? I mean, this is a FANfiction site. Whatever. I don't own it and I never will. If I did...*drool*  
**

**A/N: My first Bleach fic to be published. Can I let you in on a little secret? This was actually the first yaoi I ever started, but I was always too lazy to get passed the heavy petting scene. You should be thanking my newest fan Uma-chan for encouraging me to finish this! I know I am! ^_^  
**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Renji cursed colorfully as he hefted open the window to Ichigo's room and swung inside. One hand was thoroughly attached to Zabimaru—still in her released form—and one was plastered to his side as he attempted to staunch the bleeding there.

It wasn't that bad of a wound, and it had pretty much clotted over by the time he reached his destination, but he'd received the blow because he was totally off his game. Rukia had given him an earful about how she and Ichigo didn't have time to worry about him while he got his act together.

In Renji's defense, he was struggling with a major problem, and he scowled as he set his zanpakutou aside and made his way to the well-stocked bathroom to get something to dress his wound with. He found the bandages and—not for the first time—thanked the Spirit King that the substitute shinigami lived in a clinic.

When he was done fixing himself, he walked into the orangette's bedroom. Sprawled carelessly on the ground, badge in hand, was the source of his problem.

His eyes raked shamelessly across the planes of his rival/best friend's torso, clothed in a tight t-shirt. Then his gaze journeyed to the legs. Long and slender, but strong and powerful. He loved Ichigo's legs. Especially when they were clad in his human skinny-jeans. Renji wished he could convince Ichigo to wear a tighter uniform, instead of his current baggy hakama…

But that would be an awkward conversation.

He sighed and sat down at Ichigo's desk. Of all people he just _had_ to fall in love with Kurosaki Ichigo.

Yeah that's right. Love. Not 'like'. Not 'really interested in'. Not 'curious about'.

Love.

If his skull wasn't so thick, it would have hurt when it landed on the table just then.

'_Oi. Why don't you just tell him?' _A female voice in his head asked

He groaned.

'_Get out of my head, Zabimaru. I'm fine. I don't need your advice right now.'_

'_Don't lie to me. It's been raining non-stop in here for the past three months.' _Saru grumbled irritably, _'Tell him or get over him.' _

'_And we don't really care which.' _Hebi added

"I said _shut up!_" he launched to his feet and glared accusingly at his sword which was leaning innocuously against the wall.

'_Alright. But do something about this. Soon.'_

Renji stuck his tongue out in answer, and turned his head to look at Ichigo's body.

_That position he's in can't be comfortable, _he thought, _maybe I should move him to the bed…_

He was standing above the teen now, and he knelt down, picking him up bridal style.

_Now there's an idea, _he thought sarcastically as he laid the teen on the bed.

Returning to the chair, he went back to watching his love. He was in a more comfortable position now, and he looked to all the world like he was sleeping, what with his eyes closed, scowl gone, and his lips parted slightly.

He wanted to kiss those lips. He wanted to nip at them and shower them with affection, just like the rest of him.

He sighed. It would never work. Firstly, he had that Orihime girl following him around everywhere. She obviously had a major crush on him, and even though she was pretty much useless in battle and was extremely annoying, Renji had to admit, she had a pretty good figure.

Secondly, he had a cute, sexy, strong (albeit irritable) woman living in his freaking _closet! _

Thirdly, he had that bad-boy reputation in his school, and the I-don't-give-a-fuck attitude that for some reason all of the girls (and Renji) thought was completely sexy.

And lastly, he'd seen his reaction to Matsumoto (especially in the school-girl outfit), and Yoruichi had told pretty much everyone in Soul Society about his responses to her chronic nudeness. Ichigo was definitely straight. So even if he didn't have an entourage of women flocking to him, he wouldn't come flying into Renji's arms.

He scowled at Ichigo's body. _'It was all his fault!'_ Ichigo was the reason he wasn't getting enough sleep. Ichigo was the reason he was so conflicted all the time. Ichigo was the reason his taicho grilled him about staring off into space instead of doing paperwork. And Ichigo was the reason he couldn't focus on the battlefield anymore.

Renji was always caught between watching Ichigo's beautiful form dancing swiftly through battle, muscles rolling beneath taut skin and worrying over every mistake his angel made, making sure he was always safe.

He groaned slightly and stared at the strawberry's lips.

_It's not as if he's actually in there right now, _he reasoned

He stood up and stretched a shaky hand out to caress the teen's colorful hair.

_Soft._

His fingertips migrated down across his cheek.

_Smooth._

They ghosted down to the substitute's chest as he leaned forward.

_Strong._

He pressed his lips to the other male's warm, but motionless pair.

_Delicious._

They tasted like soda, some kind of living-world candy, and something else that he couldn't quite put his finger on.

He sighed as he regretfully pulled away from the warm lips and looked up into wide, horrified chocolate eyes staring at him from the window.

He stood up quickly. "I-Ichigo?" He croaked. "Th-that wasn't what it- what it looked like."

* * *

Ichigo stretched his muscles as he shunpoed home. Rukia had gone to Soul Society to see her brother and report on the Hollow kill, and Renji had been sent back early because he was injured.

_I hope he's okay, _he though worriedly, _that was a nasty cut._

Ichigo shook his head as he remembered how the other had protested after he'd practically fallen asleep in the middle of the battle.

_Like I would let him take that kind of risk._

He'd been pining over the man for months now, and only just realize it was love. He'd hoped his teenage hormones had just been going crazy because of the fukutaicho's god-like physic, but no.

He stopped as he got to the building across the street from his house. From the roof, he could clearly see his person of interest through the window. He seemed to be arguing with himself.

'_No.' _He jumped at the familiar voice_ 'He's conversing with his zanpakutou spirit.'_

'_Oh.' S_ometimes Zangetsu was really helpful when he wanted insight into the redhead's actions. _'Um…Thanks'_

'_Anytime. I feel that the more I help you, the less heavy this downpour becomes.'_

'_Sorry.'_ Now he felt worried _and_ guilty. Great.

His attention was drawn from his internal struggle when he saw Renji carry his body over to the bed. He couldn't help but wish that the tattooed man would hold him like that if he was actually _in_ his body. Ichigo looked away. Not that the man ever would. Renji was way too macho to hold another man in such an…intimate position.

Might as well add depressed to that growing list of emotions.

He looked up again as Renji got up to stand over his body. A wave of suspicion washed over him as a devious expression flashed across the man's face.

_What's he up to?_

A hand touched his hair and he shivered. He watched as it brushed his cheek before settling on his chest.

He shunpoed to the window to make sure he wasn't going crazy as the man of his dreams (and you can guess which kind) kissed him. Actually _kissed _him!

Kind of.

Did it still count if he wasn't in his body?

Renji looked up with a peaceful expression on his face which soon melted into horror as he saw the orangette in the window.

I-Ichigo?" He croaked. "Th-that wasn't what it- what it looked like."

Ichigo was too shocked to say anything for a few seconds before he got his wits about him.

"…Really?"

A red ponytail thrashed furiously as Renji nodded.

"So exactly what _was_ it?"

Renji's hairline became a bit ambiguous as he flushed brightly. He tried to think of any possible cover-up, but was at a loss. It was pretty obvious what he was doing.

"Renji…"

* * *

Said redhead cursed at himself mentally, and was about to start apologizing profusely when his breath was wrenched from him by a rough impact. At first he thought that the other had hit him, but as Ichigo's lips closed over his own, he realized that he had been shoved bodily into the wall.

This was unexpected.

At first he just stood in shocked silence as Ichigo attacked his mouth, but when he felt a tongue lapping at his bottom lip, he sprang into action. He grabbed Ichigo by the shoulders and spun them around so that he could more easily devour the shorter male's mouth. The teen moaned, and Renji's mind narrowed to one thought.

_I want him. I want him NOW._

He pushed his knee between the substitute's legs and ground it into the other's groin. Ichigo broke the kiss so that he could throw his head back, and the fukutaicho immediately started attacking the wide expanse of skin before him, licking and biting where he saw fit.

Ichigo'd never had any experience in this kind of thing except with his own hand, and the amount of pressure and friction Renji was applying to his manhood was putting sparks in his eyes. Rational thinking went down the drain and Ichigo ground himself against the well-muscled thigh.

Kissing Ichigo's empty body was great, but the scene before Renji right now was nothing short of incredible. A flushed, swollen-lipped, bite-marked, _moaning_ Ichigo was currently grinding a raging hard-on onto his thigh.

He could die happy right now.

Or he could fuck the teen senseless.

Renji stopped his assault on Ichigo, and a small portion of sense returned to the substitute. He took one look at the lustful, crimson eyes in front of him and stepped over to his desk and picked up a small green ball, popping it in his body's mouth.

Kon sat up tiredly and was about to say something when Ichigo cut him off. "Go downstairs and get my family. Take them out to do something. Be good." And with that he shoved the confused modsoul out the door.

Renji stepped forward and his heart skipped a little when his strawberry met him halfway. There was no need for words. Their lips crashed together and their hands roamed for a while. Then Renji started moving. He took small steps to the bed until Ichigo's knees were backed up against it. He was going to push the teen down, but before he could, the substitute grabbed his shirt and pulled him.

_If this is a dream, I'm going to murder someone._

Renji adjusted himself so that he was between the long legs and the owner's nimble fingers reached up and undid the tie to his hakama. Renji broke the kiss and stared into sheepish chocolate.

"Are you sure?"

_Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes._

Instead of replying, Ichigo brought his hand up to palm the redhead's manhood through the loose fabric.

"Nngh." Renji's jaw clenched and he unconsciously bucked into the warm hand. Ichigo chuckled underneath him and took his hand away. Renji bit back a whine at the loss of contact. He undid the sash of Ichigo's hakama hastily, pulling the loose cloth off and tossing it to the floor.

Ichigo turned away, blushing profusely. The shinigami uniforms didn't come with boxers. The redhead grinned. It was better that way.

He then tore off his partner's top and threw that on the floor, too. He paused for a moment to admire the teen's physique. "Damn." He murmured, tracing his hand over the lean muscle.

Ichigo tried to cover himself, but Renji pulled his hands away and pinned them by his side. Ichigo pouted and he smirked down at the teen.

"What?" he asked, raising an inked eyebrow.

"It's not fair. You've got more clothes." He punctuated his words with a tug at Renji's uniform.

Renji shrugged and slowly undid his top, letting it flutter to the ground. Ichigo's breathing increased, and he was sure that he was drooling. Jagged, tribal tattoos marked the planes of flesh, leaving a nice trail for Ichigo's gaze to travel. The hakama was slid off even slower, and Ichigo squirmed a bit, wanting to feel the other man flush against him again. "Renji~" his moaned, "Hurry up~!"

Abarai grinned and straddled the younger man, crushing their manhoods together.

"Ngh!" Ichigo squeezed his eyes shut as the warm hardness was pressed against his own. He briefly wondered if he should call it a heavenly feeling, since sometimes Rukongai seemed positively miserable, but then Renji rolled his hips and his brain turned into mush. They moved in that sinful, heated dance until Ichigo's hips began to buck erratically. "Haaa…ah…Rennnggh!" Smirking, the redhead pulled away, relishing the whine that the substitute let out. "Wh-why'd you stop?"

He arched an intricate eyebrow and tapped his first three fingers to the orangette's lips, smirking as the teenager below him blushed bright pink. "Suck." He said, a wolfish grin making itself known on his face. After only a brief moment of hesitation, Ichigo complied, taking the fingers into his mouth and laving his tongue over them. The redhead groaned at the sight of his fingers disappearing farther and farther into that hot mouth. A small frown of concentration creased the teen's brow as his tongue wormed its way over and in-between the fukutaicho's long fingers. "Mmm. As hot and slutty as you look right now, _these…_" he removed his fingers, "are needed _elsewhere._" Ichigo gasped as a slick finger circled his entrance before pushing inside.

"Nahh! T-that feels weird…" He said, wriggling his backside and trying to ignore the intrusion.

Renji rolled his eyes. "Better it be uncomfortable than painful, right?"

The eldest Kurosaki sibling nodded, but still… '_This had better start feeling better soon or–' _

"Aah~!" White-hot stars flung themselves at his vision, obscuring it completely as something was prodded within him. "W-what was…?"

The inked man chuckled. "And you call yourself a doctor."

"You know what I meant." Ichigo growled, shoving the man just enough to get his point across.

Renji just smiled and pushed another finger in, relishing the whine that was produced from the writhing, pliant body beneath him as his prostate was stimulated further. "Ahhnm~" Ichigo bit his lip harshly to prevent the obscene noises that threatened to rip from his throat. After a minute or two of stretching, Renji slipped them out, grinning wide at the disappointed mewl that escaped the orangette.

He leaned up to give Ichigo's abused lips a deep kiss before sheathing himself inside. The teen's eyes screwed shut at the discomfort and he let out a noise of pain into the redhead's mouth. The effort to stay immobile was surreal, but the shinigami knew that it would be worth the wait once he was finally allowed to move.

A minute that lasted an eternity passed before Ichigo wrapped his legs around the muscular form above him and pulled it closer. "Move, Renji." He murmured, burying his face into the tattooed neck as the other male began to thrust gently.

"Damn. You fuckin' tight, Ichi." He gasped, gyrating his hips in a steady rhythm, trying to find _that _spot when Ichigo tensed beneath him, his back bowed and a moan left his swollen lips. He rolled his hips and the substitute cried out again. Ichigo was panting harshly as he moved, raising his hips up to meet his lover's. "Faster." He groaned.

Renji nodded and finally dropped his control. He moved almost violently against the younger male, thrusting harshly. Their sweat-slicked bodies slid and smacked together, adding to the carnal din that surrounded them. Moans. Grunts. Cries. Harsh panting. Murmured words of plea and encouragement. The wet sounds of sloppy kisses. The creaking of the bed beneath them. The sheets shifting and sliding with their every movement.

In two words? Sex sounds.

The redhead began suckling on the tanned column of the other's neck as blunt nails raked down his back. "Gods, Renji! I–" His body shuddered and Abarai nodded in agreement. He pulled out once more before slamming forcefully into his sweet strawberry prize. The breathless call of his name as his lover climaxed was all he needed to follow suit.

His arms gave out and he collapsed onto his partner to catch his breath before rolling off and gathering the substitute into his arms. As their breathing stilled and their hearts slowed, they chanced a look at each other. Inquiring rubies searched equally questioning chocolate depths before twin smiles tugged at the sated males.

The smiles slowly morphed into grins as the realization really sunk in.

"Love ya, Ichi." He said, and the lankier male blushed.

"Right back at ya, Ren." He said, tucking himself further into the other's embrace.

After all, with everything that had just happened, what was a little cuddling between lovers?

* * *

Omake:

"Oi! Zangetsu!" He called, looking around the empty metropolis with a rare grin on his face. "You're not gonna believe what just–" Blink. Blanch. "Aw, fuck!"

He sat up in his bed with a jerk, accidentally waking up the redhead he was intertwined with. "Wha…?" he murmured sleepily "'Srong Ichigo?" He asked, rubbing his tired eyes and looking at his shuddering lover.

"I-I just went to my inner-world." He said, his face screwing up like he was going to be sick.

A tattooed eyebrow arched comically. "What about it?"

"Z-Zangetsu was… and Zabimaru…chains…" He shuddered again as realization dawned on the fukutaicho and he burst out laughing.

"I always knew Saru was a kinky bitch." He chortled before getting shoved roughly from the bed. He let out a winded sound as he hit the floor and glared up at the other. "_What_?"

"It was _not _funny. I've been scarred for life! How am I ever going to get stronger if I can never look my own _soul_ in the eye ever again?"

Renji snorted. "_Please._ You think no one else had seen their zanpakutou getting it on before? Just ask Matsumoto and Kira about the time they meditated together while Haineko was in heat! Great story." He chuckled at the memory. "Besides. You should let them have their fun…" His eyes darkened a shade as a predatory grin spread across his lips. "Because there's about to be some _serious _climate change going on in there in a second."

Ichigo blushed, but smiled back. He could deal with their swords screwing each other.

After all, it was only fair, right?

* * *

**Soooo? How was it? I know you've all heard this before, but honestly. REVIEW! It gives me flutterbies when I read a review, even if all you have is critique!**


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